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Post by Anna on Mar 24, 2009 20:13:37 GMT -4
Since she had regained her grace, Anna had found herself wandering to the giant oak tree on the outskirts of Union, Kentucky. The tree stood tall and solitary in the field almost like a beacon, and like ships to a lighthouse, she had found she was drawn to it at times.
After killing Uriel to save her former subordinate she'd waited until the two mortals were taken care of to take her leave. She wasn't sure where she would end up and she found herself at the oak once more. Laying her hand on it she tilted her head to look at it silently. It was amazing what her grace had done.
She stood staring at the tree and found her thoughts wander to Uriel's last words.
Castiel was kneeling on the floor looking up at Uriel who continued to deliver blow after blow. Anna had been watching her old ...friend...since she had left him to think for himself.
"You can't win Uriel," he said, blue crystal eyes open wide and staring at the other. "I still serve God."
'God bless him,' she thought to herself as she watched in the shadows. What the dark haired man said seemed to infuriate the other angel for he snapped at him, "You haven't even met the man," he yelled. "There is no will," he said before delivering a blow to Cas's face. "No wrath," another blow. Uriel seemed to pause for a moment before almost hissing, "No god."
It was that phrase that had made Anna snap. She may not have been the biggest fan of her former comrades but she wasn't about to let another of her old garrison die. She'd been behind Uriel in a second, scooping up the Sword of Lucifer that lay discarded from the earlier struggle. Sword in hand she'd stabbed him in the throat. "Maybe," she'd whispered in his ear, "Maybe not. But there is still me."
Looking up at the tree again she looked intently at her hand as it rested on the bark.
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Post by Castiel on Mar 25, 2009 1:17:00 GMT -4
His brother was dead.
But it was not the solitary fact that had torn deeply into Castiel as his brother lay on the ground before him. Uriel and Castiel had worked side by side for centuries; he had fought next to his brother and had trusted him completely and for that he now felt as if it had all been for nothing. Uriel had been clouded; he had become impaired and Castiel was not sure he would ever understand what it was exactly that had driven his brother over that edge. He had murdered others in their garrison; taken the lives of their brothers and sisters and would have taken Castiel’s from him as well had it not been for Anna. He had been spared only because Anna had shown up and taken their brother down otherwise it was without doubt that Castiel would have met the same fate as the other 7 angels.
“Be un-afraid…”
But in truth Castiel had never felt such an overwhelming sense of fear in all of the years he had existed. If trust could not be had within the garrison then where could it be held? Their Father had to have known what it was Uriel was doing yet it had continued on for so long…so many had needlessly been killed and yet there was nothing that had stopped Uriel…nothing till Anna. But he knew he couldn’t focus on these thoughts; emotions led way to doubt and doubt led the way to falling and Castiel knew he could not fall. Who he was; who he had always been was in direct correlation with his grace and without that he was nothing.
Uriel’s vessel had long since been removed from the warehouse and yet Castiel had still remained in the dank room the blood still coating the skin of his own vessel. There was no pain…physically yet the pain he felt tear through his very essence was enough to drive him to his knees and never allow him peace again. Anna had since gone and all was silent in the room as Castiel allowed the sight of the room to clearly set in. The darkness had claimed one of their own; it had turned one of their own to their own side and though they had salvaged seals they had now lost far greater.
He was unsure of where to turn to or where to go and so he sought out Anna; an action he would never had thought he would have willingly pursued. The large oak which her grace had driven from the earth loomed over her as she came into his sights. He had no words for her; he was not even aware of where to begin he merely stared back at her his wide blue eyes piercing the space between them the deep crimson of his vessels blood still staining his face and clothes yet he cared not. Internally the anguish was far too great to be concerned of his vessel…the loss was far too great to bear alone.
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Post by Anna on Mar 25, 2009 10:50:20 GMT -4
She had been wondering how long it would take before the lonely angel would seek her out. Anna didn't need any flickering lights to tell her who had appeared behind her in the field. Without looking behind her, Anna's gaze went from her hand that rested on the tree, the one she had used to grip the blade to kill Uriel, to the higher branches of her oak. She'd admit her gaze did flicker to the above for a moment before looking at the tree.
"Hello Castiel," she said still not letting her gaze wander to the new arrival.
His sadness was like a beacon and she frowned, withdrawing her hand and looked at it. "I am sorry about Uriel," she said.
Uriel by no means had been her favorite of her brethren before she had fallen but the loss of any angel was a blow. Thanks to him, they had a loss of 8 angels. The seven he had murdered for refusing him flashed through her mind and could she still feel as a human did she would have shed a tear for each of them. Even for Uriel who had somehow fallen into Lucifer's grips. Lucifer had always been a good talker.
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Post by Castiel on Mar 26, 2009 2:05:43 GMT -4
Castiel stood rooted in his spot his eyes never wavering from where Anna stood against her tree. He had not spoke a word but he knew she knew he was there and a few moments later her welcomed proved that fact. He had no response to her greeting he was unsure what it was he was doing seeking out an angel that he was still ordered to kill…he knew as well as she did that he would do no such thing.
“He became lost…I should have seen it far sooner than I did. He could have been saved…our brothers and sisters could have been saved.”
Castiel’s voice floated through the air between them still heavy with the despair he felt at the loss of his brother along with all of the others that they had lost because of Uriel. He felt no anger though; not at Uriel but at the situation his brother had found himself in and more importantly at himself. Castiel had worked alongside for Uriel for centuries he was meant to be able to protect his brother and he had failed.
His eyes continued to stare back at Anna though he made no motion towards her it had taken all of his will to come to her at all and that was an action he was still struggling with. He forced his eyes away from the fallen angel and down at the blood which stained the clothes of his vessel. The blood as well as the injuries could all be gone in a moment but he had yet to feel as if he deserved to be cleansed of the memory of what had occurred. He needed to live with his failures…and he had failed greatly.
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Post by Anna on Mar 26, 2009 9:28:57 GMT -4
Anna closed her eyes as Castiel spoke. The poor mislead angel. She hated to admit she had been pleased when he'd come to her claiming the thought of possible disobedience, well if she could still hate that is. She remembered the emotion and knew that if she could, that is what she felt. Hate for having wanted Castiel to fall; to suffer as she was. But it was not disobedience from God he had been thinking of. Their father would never have wanted what Uriel had tricked Castiel into doing; making Dean torture. She was glad he had figured out Uriel's treachery.
“He became lost…I should have seen it far sooner than I did. He could have been saved…our brothers and sisters could have been saved.”
She was in front of him in a second and tilted her head slightly, looking into his eyes. "You are feeling guilt," she said almost sadly. "Uriel was not lost because of you. You could not have saved your brother. He made his own choice to change sides. He murdered our brethren and would have murdered you had I not killed him."
"You could not have saved them Cas," she said, an arm instinctively reaching out and resting on his jacket sleeve. The want to perform the human feeling of comfort over came her even though he would most likely recoil from her touch as he had on all their other meetings.
She had been so cold as an angel. They all were cold. They did not touch. They did not hug. They did not really even smile.
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Post by Castiel on Mar 26, 2009 11:15:42 GMT -4
Castiel’s eyes immediately met Anna’s as she moved in front of him in an instant. He searched her eyes for a moment hoping to somehow find answers and peace there but he found nothing. He knew he would find nothing; the anguish he felt was that of his own doing, his own failures in regards to a very crucial part of his mission…the mission his Father had bestowed upon him.
“He was my brother…we fought side by side for centuries and I failed to see when he had become lost. I failed him Anna…but I failed our father as well.”
Castiel’s eyes shifted away from Anna once more as they focused upon the ground beneath their feet. It was that realization that brought sensations to the forefront that Castiel had no desire to deal with. He had failed his father and that was something which felt even worse than losing his brother.
“Emotions lead to doubt…and doubt gives way to disobedience,” Castiel quickly corrected her as she expressed that he was feeling “guilt.” It was not his job to feel anything he had his orders his job and though he had failed at them there was no room to allow darkness to slip into his own soul and claim him as well.
He still served God.
He had no orders, no anything since Uriel had been killed and the silence worried him beyond anything; he felt abandoned and he knew that his failures would bring disgrace…he feared that they would bring punishment as well. Castiel’s eyes immediately snapped on to Anna and then down upon her hand as she rested it upon his arm. He took a step away from her touch turning his back to her for the briefest of moments as his eyes scanned the area around them in the flash of a moment his deshelved appearance was back to normal and all traces of blood and injury were gone from his vessel.
“I was meant to save them,” Castiel snapped his tone harsh as he turned back to Anna.
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Post by Anna on Mar 26, 2009 14:54:06 GMT -4
Just as he had pulled away from her when he had called to her in the park she felt her demenor darken. Again it was he who seeked her out yet he would not listen. Retracting her outstretched hand she let it fall to her side.
"Emotions do not always lead to disobedience," she stated calmly. "You felt doubt about what Uriel was doing and you were right to feel so. Those orders were not from our father. They were not from God. You knew just as I had spoken to you that our father would never order violence like that."
"Your doubt led you to find the truth. Your doubt let you to find who truly was killing our brethern. Thanks to your doubt no more shall die by the hands of Uriel. Thanks to you Dean was not killed. That would have caused God to be angry with you."
The sight of his back was beginning to cause her annoyance. She had never liked any conversation to be held without looking someone in the eye. She liked to read their reactions to her words.
“I was meant to save them,” Castiel snapped his tone harsh as he turned back to Anna.
"You could not save yourself," she snapped back. Something akin to the human feeling of guilt surfaced.
Anna looked at the ground now before raising her head to look at him. "I did not mean that. I...apologize."
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Post by Castiel on Mar 27, 2009 12:04:42 GMT -4
"You could not save yourself."
Castiel flinched back from her words as if she had struck him. The words had the same effect as any blow Uriel had delivered. But she spoke the truth and Castiel knew that which was what made the words more impactful.
"...Perhaps I was not meant to be saved. Perhaps I was fated to join the rest of our garrison...the ones I had failed. It would have been a just occurence."
His words were spoken with the briefest hint of hurt to them as he walked passed Anna unable to meet her gaze even as her apology escaped from her lips. He knew well enough that the apology only existed because Anna had not intended to cause him grief...but her words still stood in truth. He had not been able to save himself.
It had been twice in the span of a day that Casiel had required the help of another in order to save himself. First had been Sam Winchester; the boy with demon blood in his veins that had wrenched him free of Alastairs grasp and then it had been Anna who had saved his existence from his own brother.
"Do not apologize for that which is true Anna."
Castiel's eyes fell upon the large oak which had sprung from Anna's grace falling to the earth and Castiel could not help but be drawn to it. Their Father had not let the torn out grace go to waste; it had been used to mold the tree. Castiel could only hope and pray that he would not be left to waste and that his mistakes could be redeemed.
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Post by Anna on Mar 27, 2009 13:14:57 GMT -4
Anna watched as Castiel walked by her, towards the tree.
"Do not apologize for that which is true Anna."
She closed her eyes and stood there for a moment. "The fact that Sam and I have saved you proves that you are not destined for that fate Castiel."
Turning she opened her eyes and walked towards her old comrade. Anna watched as his eyes gazed on the tree born from her grace. Inside, Anna clinged to the hope that their father had let the tree spring from her grace as a sign to her. She prayed that he would forgive her for her fall. She did not regret going to the earth to mingle with his other children but she did regret hurting those she had been kin to; those like Zachariah or Castiel.
She had not seen Zachariah since before her fall. Lately she had caught a whisper of his name and knew it was only time before he sought her out like Uriel and Castiel had. She just hoped his orders regarding her would not be the same, or that someone would fight for her existence.
"It is beautiful..." she said, moving to stand next to him, keeping her gaze on the tree as well.
"Seeing its beauty from my fall gives me hope that our father may one day welcome me back."
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Post by Castiel on Mar 27, 2009 20:50:00 GMT -4
Perhaps Anna was correct; perhaps as of late he was not destined for that fate but that still did not take away from the fact that he had required the assistance of a fallen angel and a boy with demon blood in order to survive. He was unsure of what to make of the feelings he current felt or what exactly they were aside from maddening; a part of him was beginning to feel as if he was spending far too much time with Dean Winchester since his charge always seemed to find fault in what he was unable to accomplish. That state of mind was beginning to show itself on Castiel as well and that was no state for an angel of the Lord he would need to correct that.
Castiel's sight moved from the oak to Anna as she stood by his side and peered back at the tree her grace had created. He didnot hsare her optimism about the trees existence but he couldn;t bring himself to tell her that. He had searched for her after all it was not his place to bring her hopes down; so instead of lie he stayed silent and stared back at the oak tree for what felt like several moments as he tried to figure out what it was he was feeling.
The knowledge that he felt anything was troubling in its own right especially since emotions gave way to doubt and Castiel would not fall...he could not fall.
"It has been silent since Uriel."
It was a simple statement but one that held so much worry for him. He had not had orders or heard from anyone in their garrison since Uriel had been killed not even Zachariah who he would have thought would have surely been displeased by the whole affiar. But then again that was more then likely the cause as to why the world around Castiel ahd suddenly gone silent.
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Post by Zachariah on Mar 27, 2009 21:34:47 GMT -4
It had been a while since Zachariah had last seen his former right-hand angel. Far too long in fact. While he had initially been skeptical of her motives for falling, recent event proved that she had no intentions of aiding Lucifer's minions. It hadn't taken much guesswork to locate the fallen angel, and Zachariah was pleasantly surprised to find that Castiel was their as well.
How well Father arranges things
He did not appear immediately beside them, instead he landed a short distance off and approached on foot. Zachariah wanted to give Anna a chance to flee if she was uncomfortable around her former superior.
"And just what are you two doing out so late?" The angel called out when he came closer to them. "A starlight stroll between old friends perhaps?"
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Post by Anna on Mar 28, 2009 0:04:29 GMT -4
Castiel's wordless reply silent cut through her as she quickly looked away from the tree to the ground. Her arms hung limply by her sides and she let out a small sarcastic laugh, "Huh...right." Anna glanced at the tree once more before turning her gaze to the left, away from the tree and away from her silent companion.
Of course he wouldn't share her idea. In his mind she deserved to rot in hell for falling from their father. He probably saw no difference between herself and Lucifer she thought bitterly. Or at least she tried to think it bitterly. It still sounded rather like sadness in her head and the fact that Castiel would probably never fully accept her back or acknowledge her as what she once was pained her.
What seemed like ages, but was only a few moments, passed before she heard him speak.
"It has been silent since Uriel."
Anna's attention snapped back to the dark haired angel next to her. She did not know what to say. She could tell there was much more meaning behind those words than their face value. She had known him for hundreds of years; The fact she had spent the last few years away from him did not mean she did not still understand his meaning. He was worried.
Did he think God was angry with him? Did he think he was being punished or shunned? Did he think he was falling?
"Cas," she started.
"And just what are you two doing out so late?" said a voice she had not heard in a good deal of time. Had circumstanced been better she probably would have rejoiced at hearing it.
Spinning around quickly Anna straightened, staring at the intruder.
"A starlight stroll between old friends perhaps?"
"Zachariah," she greeted with a curt nod, eyed never leaving his face once she located the body owning the voice.
The faint remnants of the feeling of fear sparked in her. Was he here for her?
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Post by Castiel on Mar 28, 2009 1:24:25 GMT -4
Castiel’s eyes fell upon Anna for a moment as a small laugh fell from her lips and he knew though he had chosen silence apposed to hurting her with words she had still picked up on the meaning of his silence.
“I did not mean to upset you,” Castiel explained his eyes shifting from her back to the tree and then once more to her.
“But I do not wish harm to fall on you either…you should know that,” Castiel explained his tone sincere. It was the truth no matter what had happened over the years since Anna fell or what would happen in the future she had still held a very important part in his existence and he had cared for her greatly and would not wish to see her hurt. There were orders though and he would only be able to ignore them for so long before those above him took notice. But Anna had been important and she would continue to be so till he was forced to make a decision.
“Cas…”
The tone of her voice alone gave Castiel the knowledge that without him having to say much else she knew what it was he feared and she would be correct. Ever since his brother’s death Castiel had waited for some sort of direction or orders or anything and he had received nothing and the silence that plagued him had become unbearable that had been one the reason he had sought Anna out. He needed another; he needed some sort of connection if only to suffer in silence with. There was no fault on others though if he was to be punished for his actions…or lack of actions and for that he knew another reason he saw fitting to be in the company of a fallen angel.
"And just what are you two doing out so late? ... "A starlight stroll between old friends perhaps?"
Castiel felt his eyes widen as the voice filtered through the air around them and the familiar presence of Zachariah fell around them. Castiel’s actions mimicked Anna’s as he quickly turned from his place at the tree towards the direction the voice had come from. Castiel had expected word from those above him but he had never expected Zachariah to come to earth to take a vessel and walk among them; this action alone did nothing to silence his growing fear.
Castiel held his thoughts in silence though as he looked from Anna back towards Zachariah with the faintest form of worry crossing his mind for Anna as well as what it would mean for him to be caught so blatantly with a fallen angel … an angel he had orders to kill if spotted.
Castiel’s striking blue eyes stared back at Zachariah as he waited in silence for whatever action the superior angel was about to throw into motion.
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Post by Zachariah on Mar 28, 2009 10:40:48 GMT -4
"Zachariah"
An amused smile slipped across Zachariah's face as Castiel and Anna turned towards him, looking to all the world like two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. He knew why, of course, Anna still had a death sentence over her head that both Castiel and Zachariah were ordered to carry out. It was fortunate for both of them then, that Zachariah, like Castiel, was not interested in fulfilling that order.
"Really you two, I'm hurt! Are you not glad to see me?" He paused a moment. "I heard about Uriel, I have decided to take a more active role in current events."
It was past time he did, formerly loyal angels were falling, formerly fallen angels were rising, and the one who was supposed to stop the world from ending was an emotional wreck. Zachariah would take care of the last himself: Dean Winchester had been beaten into the ground, he needed to be reminded of his identity as a hunter. The other problems would require more hands than his to solve.
"Anna, I have a favor to ask of you."
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Post by Anna on Mar 28, 2009 11:23:57 GMT -4
The amused look on her former superior's face did nothing to ease her thoughts. Anna felt Castiel turn beside her to look at the new comer as well. Another few seconds of silence and Castiel had taken to watching the two of them, waiting for what would happen next. She glanced once at him, recalling his words from earlier.
“But I do not wish harm to fall on you either…you should know that,” Castiel explained his tone sincere.
She wondered if he were about to be put to the test.
"Really you two, I'm hurt! Are you not glad to see me?" Zachariah said before he paused a moment. "I heard about Uriel, I have decided to take a more active role in current events."
Anna was not sure how to react to that news. On the bright side at least Castiel had someone to talk to who wouldn't put him in danger like she had unintentionally done. Then again by active role she hoped he did not mean any harm to fall on Cas.
Unconsciously she took a step forward as if to shield her former friend from Zachariah.
"Anna, I have a favor to ask of you."
Her formerly watchful face turned into a frown. "What, I'm only good enough to send people to kill me but you thought you'd make me do one last thing before you finish the job," she bit out.
She could see no other reason for the other angel to have come except to kill her and try and fix what Uriel had damaged.
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