Post by Alexis London on Jun 23, 2010 8:08:40 GMT -4
"It's good to see you as well, always is. I'm sorry about all this..."
"Me too." Alexis murmured. "We had a good thing...and now...."
Now she had no idea what. She didn't know how to react to anyone. But she did know one thing-when she'd been on her own, she was never hurt.
She watched Jon's reaction again. She could tell he didn't like her rationalization, but it was true. Vampires had to be smart. They had to think with their heads, and not with emotions. A vampire using their emotions too much could get them killed. While she knew Jon wouldn't have done it, she knew she'd crossed an unspoken vampire line. Jaron would kill her if he found out. She made a mental note to leave that little tidbit out of the story.
"Well let's just say I'm not a big fan of his."
Humans had a way of disliking Jaron, so she wasn't really surprised. She wondered what her brother had pulled to irritate Jon.
"What did he do?" She needed to know from him, because Jaron would never give her the full story.
"Actually my mother would hate the idea of my job, she wanted me to be a banker."
Alexis smirked faintly. Her mother had wanted her to be beautiful forever and marry money. She'd accomplished one of the two, so she figured that wasn't bad.
"My mother was a serial killer." Alexis shrugged. "You can't really screw up enough tp top that, but I guess getting yourself changed into a vampire does it."
If the majority of the human race knew vampires were real, they'd most assuredly hate her more than the legendary Blood Countess. Dead historical figure vs. undead dangerous previously thought to be fictional character who fed from the living was a big difference.
"Meant to or not, you did. Just like I never meant to hurt you but I did, otherwise you probably wouldn't be with... him. I don't blame you, he was there at a tough time when I wasn't, he's the one that's helped you when I should've. I understand everything, I promise I do. He's a vampire, he'll understand you more than I ever will. I only know... I only know how to destroy your kind, I have no idea how things feel to you or how you see the world and even if you sat here for a year and explained it to me I'd still never understand like he would."
His words made Alexis's heart sink lower in her chest. She hated to have hurt someone she had cared so strongly for, but it was the truth. Any emotion she might have felt for Jon was buried under anger and pain at the moment.
"I'm sorry, I really am."
He was right about the difference, but he wasn't saying a human could give him more than she could.
"I could say the same for you. A human could give you a family, a good life. You could have one of those happy endings where you marry and grow old together. I'll never grow old, and I'll never die."
She hadn't thought of that. How would she face his growing old? And what did you do after a human loved one passed? It wasn't like she'd be left with children. She'd be left in the same position she was now-hurting.
"Jon, I can't talk about this right now. I need to think. I have to go and let all of this sink in. This is just such a shock."
She'd never had a conversation like this in her life-human or vampire. She had no idea what she should do, or how she should do it. She needed to talk to someone-not Ryden, but.
Killian. She was finding Killian as soon as she got out of here and back to the hotel. Maybe he could give her some inclination of how she should feel right now.
"Me too." Alexis murmured. "We had a good thing...and now...."
Now she had no idea what. She didn't know how to react to anyone. But she did know one thing-when she'd been on her own, she was never hurt.
She watched Jon's reaction again. She could tell he didn't like her rationalization, but it was true. Vampires had to be smart. They had to think with their heads, and not with emotions. A vampire using their emotions too much could get them killed. While she knew Jon wouldn't have done it, she knew she'd crossed an unspoken vampire line. Jaron would kill her if he found out. She made a mental note to leave that little tidbit out of the story.
"Well let's just say I'm not a big fan of his."
Humans had a way of disliking Jaron, so she wasn't really surprised. She wondered what her brother had pulled to irritate Jon.
"What did he do?" She needed to know from him, because Jaron would never give her the full story.
"Actually my mother would hate the idea of my job, she wanted me to be a banker."
Alexis smirked faintly. Her mother had wanted her to be beautiful forever and marry money. She'd accomplished one of the two, so she figured that wasn't bad.
"My mother was a serial killer." Alexis shrugged. "You can't really screw up enough tp top that, but I guess getting yourself changed into a vampire does it."
If the majority of the human race knew vampires were real, they'd most assuredly hate her more than the legendary Blood Countess. Dead historical figure vs. undead dangerous previously thought to be fictional character who fed from the living was a big difference.
"Meant to or not, you did. Just like I never meant to hurt you but I did, otherwise you probably wouldn't be with... him. I don't blame you, he was there at a tough time when I wasn't, he's the one that's helped you when I should've. I understand everything, I promise I do. He's a vampire, he'll understand you more than I ever will. I only know... I only know how to destroy your kind, I have no idea how things feel to you or how you see the world and even if you sat here for a year and explained it to me I'd still never understand like he would."
His words made Alexis's heart sink lower in her chest. She hated to have hurt someone she had cared so strongly for, but it was the truth. Any emotion she might have felt for Jon was buried under anger and pain at the moment.
"I'm sorry, I really am."
He was right about the difference, but he wasn't saying a human could give him more than she could.
"I could say the same for you. A human could give you a family, a good life. You could have one of those happy endings where you marry and grow old together. I'll never grow old, and I'll never die."
She hadn't thought of that. How would she face his growing old? And what did you do after a human loved one passed? It wasn't like she'd be left with children. She'd be left in the same position she was now-hurting.
"Jon, I can't talk about this right now. I need to think. I have to go and let all of this sink in. This is just such a shock."
She'd never had a conversation like this in her life-human or vampire. She had no idea what she should do, or how she should do it. She needed to talk to someone-not Ryden, but.
Killian. She was finding Killian as soon as she got out of here and back to the hotel. Maybe he could give her some inclination of how she should feel right now.