|
Post by Castiel on May 12, 2009 1:06:20 GMT -4
The darkness that had come with the pain was welcomed as it allowed Castiel to escape from the mental and physical anguish that had plagued him from the moment Lilith had torn his grace from him. It was an encompassing feeling of emptiness and agony and there was nothing to be seen beyond it. It had been that feeling; those fears that had pulled Castiel head long into the waiting arms of unconsciousness. It had been Zachariah whose hand had fallen upon him and yet Castiel still feared that the same hand which sought to heal him would also destroy him as would be commanded. He was at fault; his grace torn from him and used as the catalyst to break another seal. He had been weak and he had failed in his Father’s work and he would pay for his transgressions.
The darkness faded around him as did the pain which had been all consuming. Castiel struggled within the vessel which had now become his own as he forced the eyes to open and the mind to focus upon the voices which filled the air around him. Castiel attempted to push himself away from the mattress which lay beneath him but he lacked the strength to do so and simply collapsed down upon the mattress once more as a slight shiver traveled through him the skin upon him bumping from the chill which ran through him as Castiel blinked owlishly the world around him falling into focus.
Castiel’s eyes fell upon Zachariah who stood nearest to him and his entire body tensed as he recalled the whispers of the nightmare which had plagued his unconscious mind. It had been Zachariah who had wielded the sword against him, who had shattered his wings and torn them from him leaving him a shattered and empty vessel; a disgrace in his Father’s eyes.
“I…am sorry for failing…” Castiel whispered his voice hoarse and strained from the screams which had assaulted him not so long ago. The pain was now completely gone as Zachariah had healed the wounds completely the only traces left was the weakness brought about by the massive amount of blood he had lost and the emotional toll of the entire ordeal.
But it was not the physical pain which caused Castiel to suffer it was the consuming silence which surrounded him; it was the sensation of being utterly cut off from his Father and that was then sensation which Castiel could not bear and he felt his body shudder in protest. He was of no use to his Father or their war in his state and he had himself to blame as it had been him who had allowed himself to distracted by the importance of his charges.
“The seal was broken because of my failure. She required the grace of 13 and I provided Lilith with the final,” Castiel explained sullenly his strength returning ever so slightly as he struggled to sit up yet did not possess the strength to do so.
|
|
|
Post by Zachariah on May 13, 2009 10:48:25 GMT -4
Zachariah watched as Anna finally lost her cool and attacked Sam. It disturbed him that the fallen angel still had such strong hold over emotions from her time as a human. They could make her unpredictable later, he needed to inform one of his superiors of this spat. The angel said nothing as Sam, and then Dean left the room, leaving demon and fallen to glare at each other.
"Stop, fighting will not get Castiel's grace back."
He felt Castiel stir and then tense. Looking down at the newly fallen angel, he saw blue eyes looking back at him. It was hard to read the wounded angel's expression, there was pain, worry, and fear.
“I…am sorry for failing…The seal was broken because of my failure. She required the grace of 13 and I provided Lilith with the final.”
"It was not your choice Castiel. I do not know what will happen to you, that decision rests with higher powers than me. It is unfortunate that another seal has been lost, but we can do nothing about it now."
The next step to be taken was at the forefront of Zachariah's mind. One one hand, Castiel's grace needed to be returned to him if he was to be of any help in the times a head. The next seal was also a top priority, the demons had already broken so many. They cou;dn't afford to loose many more battles.
|
|
|
Post by Anna on May 13, 2009 22:04:46 GMT -4
Anna's temper had gotten the better of her and she knew it. A small amount of guilt flooded through her, especially when Dean left after his brother, who had left the room. When Ruby yelled at her, Anna moved her gaze from the shut door to the demon's face. Her brows creased as she picked up on the other's stance. Before anything else could be said or done between the two pissed off females Zachariah's voice cut the air.
"Stop. Fighting will not get Castiel's grace back."
Biting her tongue Anna refrained from commenting that it would make her feel better and nodded instead, "Alright." She looked at Ruby. It was true the demon had helped her when she had been human but with what she now knew the demon was doing to Sam she did not feel like she owed her anything.
There was a murmur from the other side of the room and Anna's gaze snapped to Castiel's form on the bed as he said something to Zachariah who responded. She crossed her arms and returned her gaze to Ruby. Anna sighed. "Dean is going to find out soon...It would be better if he heard it from Sam," was all she said before turning and moving to the bed by Castiel to greet him.
She stayed silent until Zachariah was done speaking. "Hello Cas," she said, her hand moving to rest lightly on his as a friendly gesture. "Welcome back." Pausing she looked him over. "You look like you were hit by a bus," she added.
|
|
|
Post by Castiel on May 14, 2009 1:20:53 GMT -4
Castiel lay in silence as Zachariah’s words filtered through the small space of the motel room.
“I do not know what will happen to you, that decision rests with higher powers than me.”
Castiel’s eyes shifted silently from Zachariah back upon the blood stained sheets which lay around him. Zachariah’s words were true and the symbolized the fear which was manifesting in Castiel by the moment. His sin had been grave and it had been costly and not even Zachariah knew what was to be done with him and that sent an entirely new sensation of fear through him.
In Castiel’s existence he had never known true emotions but it was the encompassing feeling of fear which he felt now with every waking second and he only wished for the time when he could fell nothing; when it was silence which surrounded him. His apologies would do him no good as his sins were already committed and knowing this Castiel sat shivering in silence. He felt exceedingly small…inadequate in the room filled with the 2 angels and the demon…he felt human and it terrified him.
“I cannot…I cannot hear our Father…” Castiel whispered not speaking to anyone person just needing to speak as an outlook for the anguish over the loneliness which surrounded him.
He flinched slightly as a hand touched his and his eyes snapped up to meet with Anna’s his blue eyes wide as he stared back at the angel he had sought solace in moments ago. She had fallen and he was now no better than her…worse as she held her grace within her now.
Castiel’s eyes met Anna’s and they clearly showed confusion as she stated he appeared to have been hit by a bus.
“I was not…I do not believe I was…” he responded attempting to recall if there had been a bus involved at all in the events of his fall but he was rather certain there had not been.
“No; I was not.”
|
|
|
Post by Ruby on May 16, 2009 9:01:20 GMT -4
Ruby tensed slightly when Anna looked at her from the door, almost ready for a fight.
"Stop. Fighting will not get Castiel's grace back."
Ruby flicked her gaze to the other angel with a slight frown when the other angel Castiel started stirring. She glanced back at Anna with a small nod. She didn't want to attack the other angel, after all she had helped her get her grace back. She had to have some amount of trust or something there between the angel. At least she hoped, because she really wanted to get out this the motel room alive.
"Dean is going to find out soon...It would be better if he heard it from Sam,"
Ruby gave a slight nod at Anna's comment, if indeed Sam did choose to tell Dean, she wanted to be nowhere near him, as she could hazard a guess at what Dean's reaction would be. As long as she avoided him, like normal it would be okay. She just needed to help Sam anyway. Not Dean.
Ruby stayed where she was though, with her arms crossed, she kept watch on the angels as Anna made her way over the short distance to the other two. She didn't want to leave in case anything happened that she wanted to know, after all sometimes angels talked, and Castiel would still know things even if he was human now.
|
|
|
Post by Zachariah on May 18, 2009 11:00:32 GMT -4
Zachariah watched as Anna and Ruby declared an unspoken ceasefire. He was glad that they did, if his plans for the apocalypse were to continue he would need Ruby's continued presence. If Sam was to kill Lilith and break the final seal, he would need to be much stronger. The angel didn't know whose side the demon was really on, but so long as she taught the younger Winchester what he needed to know, he didn't care.
"I must go. Anna, keep an eye on Castiel, would you?"
He had fulfilled his role as a concerned supervisor. There was no reason for anyone to suspect that he was secretly giddy that another seal had been broken. It was important to keep that under wraps after all Zachariah didn't want his underlings to do anything foolish like try to contact an archangel with concerns over his priories. Their involvement would be disastrous for him. Taking one final glance at the newly fallen Castiel, the higher ranking angel vanished from the room.
|
|
|
Post by Anna on May 21, 2009 12:13:39 GMT -4
Anna bit her tongue to bite back the clawing comment at Castiel flinching from her...again. She knew he couldn't help it. Instead she assumed a small polite smile.
“I was not…I do not believe I was…” She watched silently as he seemed to be concentrating on something before he spoke again. “No; I was not.”
Anna shook her head. "Relax Cas," she said, "It's a joke."
Her attention snapped to Zachariah when he spoke and she straightened slightly. "Yes sir," she said with a nod. Her eyes followed him like a tiger as he disappeared.
The silence that ensued was awkward. "Well...this looks like fun," she said, glancing at Castiel then Ruby. It struck her that the brothers were not back yet. As badly as she wanted to keep them under her watch at the moment since Castiel could not...she did not like the idea of leaving Cas alone with Ruby.
|
|
|
Post by Ruby on May 25, 2009 12:40:28 GMT -4
Ruby breathed almost a sigh of relief when the other angel decided to leave, leaving her with Anna and Cas. Well another seal had broken anyway, that was worth having to stand in a room full of angels.
It suddenly got very quiet in the room, leaving an awkward silence between her and the two angels, or rather a fallen angel and an angel, a small smile hidden, by Ruby moving across the room and leaning against the window near to the both of them. She could tell Anna didn't want to leave Castiel, even if she had a level of trust with the angel, she knew they could never fully trust one another, which was fine by Ruby, she was on her own most of the time anyway, trust was hard to find in this world.
"Well...this looks like fun,"
Ruby glanced at Castiel and Anna when she said that, a smirk crossing her mouth as she crossed her arms casually. "Why don't you order up some pizza and throw on some music, I'm sure you're capable of making fun." Ruby replied, a little sarcasticly, glancing around the room for a moment, before deciding on what to do. "Anyway I shall be leaving you, even though I'm enjoying this, I don't intend to stick around when the boys get back. I'll see you later." Ruby said to Anna and Cas, and with a small smirk, made her way back across the room, and through the door. She felt it better that she would leave. Plus she had things to take care of.
|
|
|
Post by Castiel on Jun 6, 2009 14:16:35 GMT -4
Confusion clouded Castiel's face slightly as Anna attempted to explain that it had been a joke in regards to him being hit by a bus...he was failing to see how it was funny but he decided to keep his silence as Zachariah spoke once more.
"Anna, keep an eye on Castiel, would you?"
If it had been at all possible Castiel felt even more coated by failure with Zachariahs parting orders. Castiel had failed it was more then clear now...especially considering that he had now been placed in the care of a fallen angel...though he could throw no stones as where his own grace had been there was a gapping hole. Even with the higher angels healing Castiel could still feel the epty wound where his grace had been and it pained him to no end.
Castiel stayed silent as the demon exchanged words with Anna and then made her leave as well leaving Castiel and Anna alone in the motel room. Castiel shifted slightly on the bed still not entirely certain of what to make of everything he was experiencing there were feelings and emotions and sensations he felt and yet he had no idea what to do with them or what they meant.
A small grimace of discontent crossed his face as he took in the blood stained and filthy state of the clothes he had been wearing.
|
|
|
Post by Anna on Jun 14, 2009 22:30:37 GMT -4
As Ruby made her suggestion of making fun Anna couldn't help but fight the urge to roll her eyes. She watched silently as the demon dismissed herself and left the motel room, leaving the two former angels alone. It seemed that the storm had calmed for the moment and Anna couldn't help but relax at the silence that filled the room.
Taking a step back she sat on the second bed and laid back, looking up at the ceiling. As the silence continued to fill the room she let herself yawn out of reflex. Her hands made their way to cushioning her head and she smiled almost contently before wiping it off her face again.
"So Cas. How do you feel," she asked, pushing herself up onto her elbows. "Do you need anything?"
|
|