Post by Almighty Admin on May 10, 2008 12:59:41 GMT -4
Sam had slept in the chair next to the bed where Dean’s body was on for several hours he was certain. The old clock somewhere in Missouri’s house would chime at every half hour and hour and there had been a plethora of chimes between when he first sat down and now. He had jerked awake with a sudden intake of air as he was yanked from the dream he had been having. He was drenched in sweat and he shivered slightly in spite of himself as his eyes darted around the room for any signs of his brother but the only sign was the lifeless body on the bed in front of him. Tears were streaking down his face as he realized he was alone. He could still hear a whisper of his brother’s voice as he struggled to deal with the fact that he had once more been unwillingly shoved into a world where he was alone.
"I'm sorry Sammy.....I didn't want to leave you, I never wanted to leave you....but you gotta let me go and this.....where I gotta go....is something I gotta sort out for myself little brother.....Be good Sammy…”
He slowly pulled his hands from the grasp of Dean’s cold dead hand and stared back down at his brother’s body.
It didn’t seem real and it didn’t seem right; Dean Winchester couldn’t die…he was Dean. The two statements didn’t go together even in the worst of times. Dean had always been there for him ever since he was 6 months old and it had been his older brother who saved him from the burning house that had claimed the life of their mother and the life of their “normal” life as they knew it. But ever since then he had been there; always looking out for him and always being a pain in the ass older brother.
Sam knew above all else that he had cut Dean deeply when he had packed up and left for school. He had been so excited to get his letter from Stanford but he had kept it hidden for months before he knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore the fact any longer. It had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do and he could still remember it clearly. His father banging things around in the room he had adopted as his “office” and Dean in the hallway with Sam all but begging him not to leave…
”Come on Sammy he’ll cool off and we’ll figure it out…”
The slamming of doors and books and everything else his father could get his hands on had traveled through the hall till John Winchester had appeared once more and glared at his youngest son.
”You walk out that door…you leave this family…you stay gone you hear me?! You stay gone!”
That had been that; Sam had grabbed his bags from the floor and had stormed out of the house slamming the door behind him and never looking back till that night he found Dean in his and Jessica’s apartment. He couldn’t even remember all of the times his dad or his brother had called his cell phone and he had simply ignored the phone call not wanting to get into the battle that was sure to come of picking up the phone. All of those phone calls and all of that time was something he could never get back now.
“I’m sorry I left Dean,” Sam whispered wishing he had the chance to tell his brother everything that he was feeling but it was a bit too late now as he was in the midst of an extremely one sides conversation.
That was the thing which struck him the deepest Dean had never left him; not ever. When Sam was younger he remembered having nightmares almost every night when John would go away on a hunt and leave the boys locked in some strange motel or house and night after night Sam would wake up screaming and in tears due to some monster or dream of danger that no child should even know about it. But he had known but he had also had Dean there the whole time.
The moment his eyes would snap open and he yelled out Dean would have stumbled out of his own bed or in from the living room and wrapped his arms around Sam protectively.
“Come on Sammy it’s ok it’s just a dream ok?” His brother’s voice had said to him always so calm and so trusting he would never dream of doubting him.
”But they’re gonna get us Dean! Dad’s gone and they’re gonna get us!”
It had always terrified him that one of the times their father left them that something would come for them and he had spent many of nights huddled underneath the cuddles with a flashlight waiting for it to happen.
”Nothings gonna get you Sammy I promise ok? That’s what I’m here for…nothing is ever gonna get you…”
Sam couldn’t help but flinch at the memory of his brother’s words. Even when they had been kids Dean would have sacrificed himself in an instant for Sam and it was because of Sam that his brother was dead.
“I can’t do this Dean,” Sam whispered his voice filled with remorse as he could hear his brother’s voice from his dream still ringing in his head.
”Be good Sammy…
Sam stood up from the chair with a hiss of pain and stumbled his way to the closet in the corner of the room. He pulled open the door; there was no hamburger this go around but Sam found a jacket one he would have bet was maybe even his at one point in time and he carefully shrugged into it.
He leaned heavily against the door sweat collecting on his forehead from exerting himself. He could fix this he knew he could. He had sent years and years studying the ins and outs of the world of the supernatural and he would make this right he had to…nothing else mattered any more.
He limped slowly back over to his brother’s side and eyed the necklace he had given him all those Christmas’s ago. When he had given it to his brother he had been all but certain it would have protected him from the Wicked Witch of the West if it was possible. But it hadn’t worked and Sam was going to fix it.
“I’m sorry Dean…” Sam whispered once more his eyes letting the image of his brother’s corpse burn its way into his mind. He needed to see it and he needed to remember and know that this is what it would be like without him and he couldn’t ever forget the pain or the shallowness that it tore in him.
Sam turned from his brother’s body and limped to the bedroom door he could hear the voices of Missouri and Bobby down the hallway as he slowly pushed open the door and stepped slowly out into the hallway. He limped his way silently down the hall being sure to step around the creaky floorboards he had learned about when they were younger and he limped his way outside and into the night air.
He shivered as the wind rushed up and hit him. Regardless of whether it was cold or not it caused Sam’s body to shiver in protest. He limped across the grass to the Impala and pulled the driver’s door open his eyes focused back on the house to make sure nobody had realized he was missing just yet before he carefully shut the car door and fished in his jean pockets for the spare key he had.
He started the car and it immediately sprang to life which surprised Sam considering the condition it was in. Sam knew Dean would have been proud of her resilience under her current condition.
“I’m sure he’s proud of you…don’t think the same can be said for me,” Sam whispered weakly as he pulled the car into reverse knowing that someone would have heard the car by now and he pushed the car into drive and peeled off down the road knowing what he had to do to make this right.
"I'm sorry Sammy.....I didn't want to leave you, I never wanted to leave you....but you gotta let me go and this.....where I gotta go....is something I gotta sort out for myself little brother.....Be good Sammy…”
He slowly pulled his hands from the grasp of Dean’s cold dead hand and stared back down at his brother’s body.
It didn’t seem real and it didn’t seem right; Dean Winchester couldn’t die…he was Dean. The two statements didn’t go together even in the worst of times. Dean had always been there for him ever since he was 6 months old and it had been his older brother who saved him from the burning house that had claimed the life of their mother and the life of their “normal” life as they knew it. But ever since then he had been there; always looking out for him and always being a pain in the ass older brother.
Sam knew above all else that he had cut Dean deeply when he had packed up and left for school. He had been so excited to get his letter from Stanford but he had kept it hidden for months before he knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore the fact any longer. It had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do and he could still remember it clearly. His father banging things around in the room he had adopted as his “office” and Dean in the hallway with Sam all but begging him not to leave…
”Come on Sammy he’ll cool off and we’ll figure it out…”
The slamming of doors and books and everything else his father could get his hands on had traveled through the hall till John Winchester had appeared once more and glared at his youngest son.
”You walk out that door…you leave this family…you stay gone you hear me?! You stay gone!”
That had been that; Sam had grabbed his bags from the floor and had stormed out of the house slamming the door behind him and never looking back till that night he found Dean in his and Jessica’s apartment. He couldn’t even remember all of the times his dad or his brother had called his cell phone and he had simply ignored the phone call not wanting to get into the battle that was sure to come of picking up the phone. All of those phone calls and all of that time was something he could never get back now.
“I’m sorry I left Dean,” Sam whispered wishing he had the chance to tell his brother everything that he was feeling but it was a bit too late now as he was in the midst of an extremely one sides conversation.
That was the thing which struck him the deepest Dean had never left him; not ever. When Sam was younger he remembered having nightmares almost every night when John would go away on a hunt and leave the boys locked in some strange motel or house and night after night Sam would wake up screaming and in tears due to some monster or dream of danger that no child should even know about it. But he had known but he had also had Dean there the whole time.
The moment his eyes would snap open and he yelled out Dean would have stumbled out of his own bed or in from the living room and wrapped his arms around Sam protectively.
“Come on Sammy it’s ok it’s just a dream ok?” His brother’s voice had said to him always so calm and so trusting he would never dream of doubting him.
”But they’re gonna get us Dean! Dad’s gone and they’re gonna get us!”
It had always terrified him that one of the times their father left them that something would come for them and he had spent many of nights huddled underneath the cuddles with a flashlight waiting for it to happen.
”Nothings gonna get you Sammy I promise ok? That’s what I’m here for…nothing is ever gonna get you…”
Sam couldn’t help but flinch at the memory of his brother’s words. Even when they had been kids Dean would have sacrificed himself in an instant for Sam and it was because of Sam that his brother was dead.
“I can’t do this Dean,” Sam whispered his voice filled with remorse as he could hear his brother’s voice from his dream still ringing in his head.
”Be good Sammy…
Sam stood up from the chair with a hiss of pain and stumbled his way to the closet in the corner of the room. He pulled open the door; there was no hamburger this go around but Sam found a jacket one he would have bet was maybe even his at one point in time and he carefully shrugged into it.
He leaned heavily against the door sweat collecting on his forehead from exerting himself. He could fix this he knew he could. He had sent years and years studying the ins and outs of the world of the supernatural and he would make this right he had to…nothing else mattered any more.
He limped slowly back over to his brother’s side and eyed the necklace he had given him all those Christmas’s ago. When he had given it to his brother he had been all but certain it would have protected him from the Wicked Witch of the West if it was possible. But it hadn’t worked and Sam was going to fix it.
“I’m sorry Dean…” Sam whispered once more his eyes letting the image of his brother’s corpse burn its way into his mind. He needed to see it and he needed to remember and know that this is what it would be like without him and he couldn’t ever forget the pain or the shallowness that it tore in him.
Sam turned from his brother’s body and limped to the bedroom door he could hear the voices of Missouri and Bobby down the hallway as he slowly pushed open the door and stepped slowly out into the hallway. He limped his way silently down the hall being sure to step around the creaky floorboards he had learned about when they were younger and he limped his way outside and into the night air.
He shivered as the wind rushed up and hit him. Regardless of whether it was cold or not it caused Sam’s body to shiver in protest. He limped across the grass to the Impala and pulled the driver’s door open his eyes focused back on the house to make sure nobody had realized he was missing just yet before he carefully shut the car door and fished in his jean pockets for the spare key he had.
He started the car and it immediately sprang to life which surprised Sam considering the condition it was in. Sam knew Dean would have been proud of her resilience under her current condition.
“I’m sure he’s proud of you…don’t think the same can be said for me,” Sam whispered weakly as he pulled the car into reverse knowing that someone would have heard the car by now and he pushed the car into drive and peeled off down the road knowing what he had to do to make this right.