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Post by Castiel on Mar 19, 2009 14:39:37 GMT -4
He could feel Dean struggling with trying to keep his emotions calm and Castiel had to admire him for that. It was a vast improvement from his blatant distaste of everything that Castiel stood for; Dean Winchester was beginning to understand and beginning to see his place along their side of the war and this would be of great help to all of those involved.
“You do not approve of Sam’s involvement with the demon…yet one it came to Anna you used her help freely against us? Why can you not seem to make up which direction you wish to take in regards to her?”
The question was valid and one Castiel felt needed to be asked. Dean obviously did not trust the demon yet he had sought out her help and that was something that Castiel had tried and failed to understand.
“Get us the information your brother has regarding Lilith and what her plans are and what himself and the Demon Ruby are doing in order to attempt to stop her…if that is what their true intentions are,” Castiel did not believe the youngest Winchester would deliberately help the side of evil in this war but the further he slipped the more Castiel’s concern grew.
“The burden on your shoulders grows with every day that passes Dean and for that I do not envy you but there will come a time when all of this will be put in the past…that can only start when true evil is put to rest,” Castiel tried to offer the slightest ounce of hope to Dean but he also knew there was no point in completely clouding his judgment with it because there would be no hope and no salvation should they fail.
“But if we fail…there will be nothing left to hope for…you for one remember very clearly what the fires of hell are like. That is a knowledge I do not even have.”
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 19, 2009 16:15:59 GMT -4
Dean let out a long, slow breath. Castiel had made a good point-and he knew it was one they didn't understand.
But Anna-.
"Anna was caught in something she didn't belong in, and didn't need to be in. She didn't do anything to anyone. It wasn't our place to turn her over, to hurt her."
Somehow, Dean suspected that the other angel wasn't about to take that answer for what it was. He wasn't sure how much else he could explain. Anna had been Anna. She was one of the first things that had actually meant something to him in a long time.
Dean stared at Castiel for a long moment without speaking. Get the information regarding Lilith? Sam had information regarding Lilith? But if what Sam wanted most was Lilith's head on a platter....then why weren't they taking out Lilith?
"What knowledge?" He asked.
A time when all of this could be put in the past? That day couldn't come soon enough if that was tomorrow.
Dean's eyes hardened as Castiel mentioned hell. The thought sliced completely through him as the horror resurfaced. He remembered that all too clearly. Just reminding himself of that made him need a drink.
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Post by Castiel on Mar 19, 2009 16:31:11 GMT -4
Castiel tried to listen to Dean’s explanation regarding Ruby and her involvement with Anna but it was not sufficient.
“Anna was a fallen angel…one who willingly tore out the grace our father had bestowed upon her. She was a risk which needed to be dealt with and still remains one whether you know about it or not,” Castiel responded his passive voice taking on a darker tone to it.
“You and your brother took the side of a demon instead of the side which saved your damned soul…I would hope and want to believe this would not occur again.”
Anna’s willingness to tear her own grace from her was something beyond Castiel’s comprehension and Dean’s blatant disregard for their need to protect their side from her still caused him great unrest. It was worrisome to think that Dean had taken a side against them when it came to a simple fallen angel; Castiel was unsure if Dean Winchester was capable of standing with them again his brother should the event arise.
“If we had the knowledge Dean I would not need you to retrieve it from your brother,” Castiel explained simply.
Castiel took immediate note of Dean’s sudden change of composure he knew it had been the mention of hell that had caused it.
“Hell on earth would be just as horrific Dean and there would be no reprieve from it that time…if Lucifer walks he brings all of hell with him and there will be nothing I nor any other angel can do to stop it.”
It was beyond important that Dean Winchester fully comprehend what hell on earth meant for himself as well as the rest of the world.
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 19, 2009 21:27:09 GMT -4
"So she didn't want to be an angel. She wanted to feel things and think for herself. So what?"
Dean couldn't understand how angels could dislike Anna so much for wanting to be different. Yeah, being an angel was a huge honor-he guessed-but being able to think and act were pretty damn good too.
"I'm not going to judge her. And I'm not going to side with demons."
He meant that. He had no intention of taking sides with demons. Siding with Ruby against the angels who had saved him was one of the hardest decisions he could ever have had to made. But in the end everyone was alive, and truthfully things weren't that much worse than they could have been.
"I'll talk to him." Dean looked down at the floor. He had no idea how to even go about attemping this particular conversation. But he'd try-for the angel's sake.
"I'm not going to forget what that was like. Trust me." He met Castiel's eyes for the first time. "And I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."
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Post by Castiel on Mar 20, 2009 9:37:43 GMT -4
The confusion etched across Castiel’s face only grew ten fold as Dean proceeded to dismiss the betrayal Anna had committed. They were not angels by choice; they were angels by God’s will alone and without their Father and their grace hey had no place existing and to turn your back upon all that you are meant to stand for was beyond blasphemy.
“We are not granted choice. We are what our Father made us to be…nothing more and nothing less. To turn away from that; to blatantly throw it back is a sin far greater then you know. You are only human it is not your place to judge…this is beyond you.”
Castiel stared at Dean for he faintest of moments contemplating if he truly believed the words he spoke. His want to do it was there and his will was strong and for the moment that would be all Castiel would ask from him.
“What if that demon was your brother?”
It was a question which needed to be asked one that held a great deal of importance to it. The bond between the Winchester brothers was far stronger then Castiel had ever seen and yet that was a blessing and a damning all at once.
“It is best that you do…for both of your sakes. My brother does not have much patience to give but I am allowing you the chance to deal with Samuel before Uriel takes his place as enforcer in this battle. Should you fail at this you need to understand that your brother’s fate will not rest in my hand. I do not wish either of you harm…but this is a war with many causalities.”
Castiel knew Dean would not be quick to forget hell. Castiel had only experienced hell for the briefest of moments and he would not forget it himself.
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 20, 2009 23:33:35 GMT -4
"So you can't freaking stand the fact that one of your own kind decided that it wasn't ok to just accept things how they were?"
Dean's statement made him think of Sam, and how hard he'd struggled to get a normal life and how badly he'd wanted away from all the weirdness that followed the Winchesters. But Castiel's question sent chills up his spin.
"Sam is not a demon." He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince-Cas or himself. "He's a hunter-and a good one too."
Truthfully, it was Sam he needed to say that to, and not an angel. But he'd get to that once he tracked his brother and his demon mentor down.
"I don't wish hell on earth on anyone. I'll do what I can with Sam. Give me some time. I know your buddy isn't going to buy that, but I need you to get me a couple of days."
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Post by Castiel on Mar 25, 2009 0:37:21 GMT -4
Castiel’s eyes stared back at Dean for several moments as he allowed his words to hang within the air. He was by no means judge and jury when it came to Anna and the acts she had done which had lead to the orders for her to be killed; but there were orders and there were rules which needed to be obeyed it was how the garrison had functioned.
“We are not granted choice. To feel emotions leaves way for doubt…there is no room to doubt what our Father has given us…what he continues to give even now in this dark time. It is not my place to judge but there are orders and orders are to be followed; I believe that is a practice your father instilled upon you as well Dean.”
Castiel wanted to have faith that the youngest Winchester was not traveling down a dark road but as every day wore on that became harder and harder to comprehend. He was nearing the point of no return and not even Castiel would be able to hold back Uriel’s wrath for long.
“Your brother has headed down a dark path Dean…and over these months it has only gotten darker. He may not willingly see what he is becoming Dean but it will consume him and he will become that which your family has hunted…he will become a monster if he is not stopped. Either you need to stop him…or we shall be forced to.”
Castiel knew that Dean would need time; he had attempted to appeal that to Uriel as well a plea which had not gone exactly in the best interest of the youngest Winchester.
“Angels are dying Dean…our garrison is being hunted and time is not something given freely. I trust in your ability to speak with your brother and I will attempt to convince Uriel of the same…my brother’s patience is not as willing as mine.”
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 25, 2009 21:32:18 GMT -4
Dean could tell that Castiel was not pleased with his answers regarding angels. But Dean had already determined that the angels-particuarly Uriel and Castiel-didn't get him. Now was obviously not the time that it was going to be starting.
"Well, whatever. It's neither of our places to judge. You can leave that up to your father and his infinite wisdom. You can leave my father out of this."
Dean didn't want John Winchester's name being brought into this mess. His father was gone and he'd already disappointed him enough. Dean's thoughts flashed backwards in time. They were so close now....he could hear the screams...and then the voice.
But we were so close in Hell.....
Dean shook his head. Immediately, he wished he had a drink. A real drink, not just some Mountain Dew.
"Looks like we've got a plan then. You have an idea where I can find Sam?"
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Post by Castiel on Mar 26, 2009 3:02:44 GMT -4
Castiel nodded solemnly as he quickly noted that he had struck a nerve by bringing up Dean’s father into their conversation.
“I apologize for speaking on your father…you are not a disappointment to him…he would be proud of how you have fought for good; how you continue to fight,” it was the best he had to offer though he was rather certain it would do little to silence the older Winchester’s anger in regards to what had occurred with his father.
“He is with Ruby. He brought my Father an ultimatum…and then he sought her out,” Castiel’s eyes locked with Dean as he did his best to explain where it was the youngest Winchester had gone. Castiel truly hoped that Dean was able to get what they needed from Samuel or he was uncertain of what Uriel would do. For all of their sakes Castiel hoped Dean was successful.
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 26, 2009 8:27:51 GMT -4
Dean knew that humans probably shouldn't disagree with angels since they were all holy and stuff, but Castiel couldn't have been more wrong. He had disappointed his father-severly. John wouldn't care how much good he had done, after the evil he had done and all.
He finally met the angel's eyes as Castiel proceeded to tell him again that Sam was with Ruby.
"Do you have any idea how little help you are?" He demanded, his annoyance showing in his tune. "You want to narrow that down other than just "with Ruby?" Seriously. You can send me back in time, but you can't tell me where my super valuable brother and his demon girlfriend are?"
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Post by Castiel on Mar 26, 2009 10:50:48 GMT -4
A clear look of confusion flashed across Castiel’s face as Dean classified him as very little help. He had served as a great help to both Winchesters since the moment he had pulled Dean from the firey pits of hell.
“I do not believe pulling you from hell was of very little help,” Castiel replied back quickly the slightest hint of anger in his tone.
There were times…much like the present where he could not understand how it was Dean Winchester could not see things for what they were. Castiel knew he still did not believe that he had been saved from the fires if hell for good and that he deserved to be saved and no matter how many times Castiel attempted to explain it all the eldest Winchester never saw it. He still had no faith…even with the help of angels.
“There is a church not far from here your brother went there to demand answers from my Father…my Father will not answer not in the fashion your brother seeks. He is there with the demon…is that sufficient?”
Castiel’s tone was one of frustration more so then helpfulness. At times he wondered how it was the war was to be one when the smaller battles brought so much strife with them.
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 27, 2009 7:32:15 GMT -4
Dean gulped. Cas had a point. The angels had succeeded in accomplishing what Sam and Dean had been tying unsuccessfully for a year to stop. He reminded himself to remember.
"Yeah....um....it....... Sorry, you're right." There. He'd just apologized for his words. He wasn't sure that made it any better, but it was the best that he could do in this situation.
Dean turned his brain off from the current disagreement and decided it best just to go track down Sammy. Getting up from the bed, he pulled his car keys out of his pocket.
"You want to come with?" He wasn't sure why he was asking. Cas would appear at said church if he felt the need to. Hell, for that matter, Cas would appear in the front seat of the Impala if he felt the need.
"Come on, it'll be fun. You like Asia?"
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Post by Castiel on Mar 27, 2009 12:13:31 GMT -4
Castiel's eyes did not waiver from Dean as the eldest Wincester's apology sounded through the space of the small motel room.
"I am aware of that," Castiel affirmed withthe slightest nod. In truth it had not been an easy task at all to pull Dean out of hell. An Angel of the Lord did not simply knock upon hell's door and require one of their damned souls. There had been a battle to break into hell and pull Dean out; it had been trying and forceful exlaining why Castiel's hand had made an impression upon his flesh.
"I am not sure you brother would appreciate my company in the face of what you wish to speak with him about."
Castiel knew that Sam Winchester had continued down the dark path he had tried to warn both brthers of and there was little to be done of that...yet. But it was the demon Ruby's hand in the affair which appeared to make it all the more difficult. Though missions from their Father were not by nature easy to under take.
"I do not think I understand what the continent of Asia has to do with your brother. He is not there he is at the church."
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Post by Dean Winchester on Mar 27, 2009 13:01:06 GMT -4
Dean could tell that Castiel was not really buying his apology. Well, he couldn't really blame him. This wasn't exactly the first time Castiel had had to tell him that he needed to have more respect for the angels who had saved him.
"You know, just for the record, Sam was always the one who was into angels. He's the one that really believes. He holds you guys up there."
It was his small attempt at letting Castiel know that no matter what the angels though, Sam had always tried to respect. He was the one who'd never believed in any of that God stuff, but now he was the one who needed to have the respect. It was funny how the tables could turn.
Dean's face registered his confusion as Castiel suddenly started talking about China.
"What are you-? Oh." It dawned on him. Castiel had no idea who Asia was, there was a big surprise. Angels had been so down to earth. He guessed there was no point in bringing up Kansas.
"Yeah, well, catch you later then." He turned and headed for the door which would take him to the parking lot and the Impala.
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Post by Castiel on Mar 27, 2009 15:33:46 GMT -4
"But yet your brother choses to take the word of demons instead of the words of angels. It is a dark road your brother continues down Dean you are aware of that as is he...and he has not stopped. His lengths...the lengths he hs gone have only grown more sevre in the time that has passed."
Castiel was aware that his words made little sense to the older Winchester especially since Dean was not aware of the knowledge that his brother had begun to willingly consume demon blood in order to grow in strength. This was knowledge Castiel himself knew not what to do with.
Castiel watched for a moment as Dean walked away from him towards the door. He was aware that Samuel was no longer just in the company of Ruby but that there were now 2 other demons in his presence as well and as far as Castiel was concerned none of them had his best interest at heart. Equiped with that knowledge Castiel was unable to allow Dean to simply walk into such a conflict without being properly informed.
In the blink of an eye Castiel was gone from the motel room the faint sound of feathers the only thing left in his wake. A few seconds later he found himself within the Winchester's vehicle as h awaited for Dean to make his way to the car.
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