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Faith
May 20, 2008 20:43:10 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 20, 2008 20:43:10 GMT -4
Dean had made his way slowly and determinedly down the hospital corridors and stopped every now and then to get his energy back. He knew he should have gotten medical assistance himself, Hell for Gods sake his hand was all but screwed, but until he knew his brother was going to be ok he honestly did not give a flying rats ass about himself.
His eyes latched upon his chosen destination and he sighed heavily as he glanced about the hallway, quickly checking that the coast was clear, before pushing his way into the hospital chapel and seating himself directly at the back, not bothering to check if he were alone in the room. His eyes stared wide, almost owl like about the small pokey room he found himself in and he could not help but allow a small grimace to cross his face. “Jesus Christ Sammy….you choose to come to these places…” Dean cringed and glanced up at the alter “Sorry….” He mumbled ashamedly, not really knowing who he was apologizing too but figuring the Jesus on the cross was a good enough starting point “Watch you mouth Dean….there we go….” He muttered to himself.
Dean situated himself heavily in his seat and winced as the hard wooden backs of the pews jarred his aching body “Bloody Hell….” He winced, allowing his eyes to go wide at his second slip up and he coughed deliberately into his hand. “I better get cookies for this crap Sammy….” He mumbled quietly finally finding a comfortable position and staring awkwardly at the very front of the chapel.
“Okey Dokey Big Guy….” He said quietly “Let’s get this party started….” And shot the large crucifix at the front of the chapel a half hearted smile “I am frigging talking to a cross….” He muttered quietly, before attempting to place his hands together and hissing through the pain that jarred through his arm “Yeah dude….that so is not happening ….” He groaned, his eyes seemingly transfixed with the front of the chapel.
Dean sat in complete silence as he struggled within himself on where to start the whole praying malarkey and he opened and shut his mouth on many occassion before he allowed himself to shake his head and he began to stand as quickly as his tired body would allow. “Yeah....I’ll tempt him back with porn….thanks anyways…” he muttered quietly, finding his feet and making his way slowly back towards the exit.
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Faith
May 21, 2008 9:53:45 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 21, 2008 9:53:45 GMT -4
Layla Rourke had gone to the one place in the Lawrence General Hospital she knew she could count on finding peace and possibly some hope and answers. She was tired and she was weak and the most recent batch of tests and work upon her had drained her of what little strength she had left. She had left York a month ago and had come down to Lawrence in hopes that a new doctor would be able to possibly give her some hope as far as her tumor was concerned and though the doctor still claimed there was no need to lose hope she felt worse then ever and couldn’t help but wonder exactly how much longer it was she had left till God saw fit to call her home.
The notion of dying wasn’t one which scared her since she had faith as to where she would spent eternity but it was still the part of dying at the age of 30 when she could still have so much to do with her life and her time; but she knew God had a plan he always did and she would hold tight to that. She had held on to her hope that Reverend Le Grange would have been able to heal her but that had not been a card that was played for her and she had quickly grown to accept that. Everything did happen for a reason after all and she knew there was a reason for her.
It had taken Layla awhile to make her way slowly from her hospital room to the chapel but she had eventually made it not wanting to have bothered any of the nurses with wheeling her around; after all as long as she could still stand she could walk. Her blonde hair hung loosely in a pony tail and she was dressed in a white shirt and hospital pants and her complexion was ashen and her eyes rimmed with dark circles but her face still held its determined smile and she would never give that up.
She sat down in the pew in the front of the empty chapel and bowed her head in prayer wishing and hoping for an answer. Her eyes snapped open though and her head rose slightly in surprise as she heard what she could have sworn was a familiar voice in the back of the chapel. But it couldn’t have been him Dean Winchester was not the chapel sort of boy and even so she had prayed for him just the same. She closed her eyes once more resigning herself to the fact that her tired mind was playing tricks on her and resumed her prayers.
But as the man’s low voice whispered through the chapel Layla had to fight herself from turning back to look at him. With every word he spoke or grumbled it seemed more and more like Dean and finally hear him give up Layla turned weakly in her pew and a small smile flashed across her face as she saw that it was in fact Dean Winchester.
She pulled herself up weakly from the pew and made her way into the aisle after him slowly and silently.
“Faith may be slightly stronger then porn Dean,” she said softly as she waited to see if he would turn towards her.
“But I am happy to see you finally found your way here.”
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Faith
May 21, 2008 10:28:35 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 21, 2008 10:28:35 GMT -4
Dean had made his way as fast as his pained body would allow towards the exit of the chapel and yet as his hand reached out and took a hold of the doorway he stopped dead in his tracks and allowed his eyes to grow wide as a voice spoke out behind him. “And….ok….the cross talks back….” He mumbled confused, refusing to turn around any time soon “I would tell myself to lay off the happy weed but I don’t….” Dean shook his head quickly and removed his hand from the doorway as the voice continued behind him and the look of confusion simply grew as his name was spoken.
“Neat trick….that’ll make an awesome headline for Weekly World News…. ‘I Talked Porn With Jesus’….heh ” He muttered quietly and sighed deeply “Okey dokey now, I am gonna turn my happy ass around and see that I am imagining all this and you can go on back to helping those that know how to….” Dean’s words froze on his lips as he finally turned his tired body around and, though he did not know what to expect, when his eyes met those of a stranger he had not seen in so very long he could not help but smile broadly at her. “Layla….?” He whispered, the surprise ever evident in his voice.
“What are you doing here? Well….I mean I know what you are doing here….you hardly came for grocery shopping in a chapel….but Lawrence I mean….” Dean’s confusion grew even more until he shook his head gently and simply smiled at her “You look….better than me I would imagine.” He added gently and took a quick look down at himself.
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Faith
May 21, 2008 10:38:35 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 21, 2008 10:38:35 GMT -4
Layla smiled softly back over at Dean who refused to turn away from the doorway proclaiming that he was speaking porn with Jesus.
“The cross does talk back but I’m not the cross,” Layla replied with a small laugh as she looked over at him wondering if he would ever turn around to face her but she knew he would; or at least if he was still the Dean Winchester she knew he would.
Layla’s face brightened slightly as he finally turned around and the surprise in his eyes made her soft smile grow wider, it was a most then welcome surprise to run into someone in Lawrence as her mother had not been able to come down with her since she was ill. Her eyes scrunched lightly as she looked over Dean once he had mentioned she looked better then he did and she couldn’t help but notice he did look a bit worse for wear.
“Now now Dean no lying in the house of God you know you enjoy the rough and ready look you use to charm the girls with,” Layla replied with a soft laugh. The strain of standing on her feet for a bit of time weighed slightly on her and her hand gently grasped the edge of one of the pews.
“Just here for a new doctor, some new hope and possibly a bit more time,” Layla replied softly her eyes meeting Dean’s once more.
“What about you? Is everything ok?”
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Faith
May 21, 2008 10:51:02 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 21, 2008 10:51:02 GMT -4
Dean allowed a slightly ashamed look to cross his face as Layla called him out on his way with the ladies and he shrugged awkwardly at her “What can I say? You gotta work with what….Well, with what God gives you….” He added with a small smile and a sly wink.
A worried look immediately crossed Dean’s face as Layla grasped the pew beside her and he moved forwards and wrapped his good arm around her shoulders before turning her and sitting her back down in the seat he had only just left “I know I cause women to go weak at the knees Layla but lets not go getting all wistful whilst neither of us is in any fit state to carry the other…” he laughed gently and sat himself awkwardly down upon the seat beside her.
Dean’s eyes locked with Layla’s as she spoke on her reasons for being over in Lawrence and he could not allow the look of sadness that crossed his face as she finished “Is there…have they said anything different? Can they do anything else here, that they can’t do at home?” he asked gently. As Layla asked why he too was in the hospital, Dean glanced down at his hands and shrugged “It’s Sam…he erm….I bought him in….he is erm…” Dean stopped speaking and shook his head gently as he struggled not to let his emotions get the better of him, especially now in front of a girl “He’s in a bad way and I watched as he almost….”
Dean glanced at Layla and shook his head gently “Same old, same old for the Winchesters…” he added softly, though the pain was more than evident behind his eyes.
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Faith
May 21, 2008 11:40:45 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 21, 2008 11:40:45 GMT -4
Layla smiled softly back at Dean as he defended himself by using God; she would take her wins where she could get them.
“Try not to let people pummel you though it’s bound to work against you one these times,” she said softly as she allowed her eyes to travel over his injuries as he did not look to be in very good shape at all.
Layla weakly tried to brush off Dean’s arm as he settled her down upon the pew but she knew it was useless. She hated feeling this way and it wasn’t the sickness. She hated not even being strong enough to stand or even carry on a conversation any more.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered gratefully as she looked back over at him her breathing less labored now that she was sitting.
“I just try not to let people fuss over me,” she explained slightly gently brushing the wrinkles from the soft blue pants which hung loosely against her small frame. She shrugged softly as Dean asked if there was anything the doctor’s could do here instead of back home in York.
“He had some hope but I think it is running out even if he won’t tell me yet…I just sort of know and it’s ok but I figured it was worth a try if there was a chance something could work…it’s ok I’m sure he will give up in a few weeks and then I’ll just go back home and…” she took a deep breath the small smile returning to her face.
“And that will be that,” she finished her sentence lightly.
A look of deep concern immediately flashed over Layla’s face as Dean explained that he was at the hospital not for himself but because something had happened with Sam. The look in Dean’s eyes all but shattered Layla’s heart and she reached out gently and placed her hand on top of his her eyes shinning back at him.
“What happened Dean? I am sure the doctors are taking very good care of him and that God…that God will protect him for you…you just need to have faith…and even if you don’t I can have it for the both of us,” she whispered gently hoping to be able to give him some sort of calm but knowing how much Sam meant to Dean she doubted it would help.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 10:54:25 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 22, 2008 10:54:25 GMT -4
Dean glanced down at himself as Layla called him out on his uncanny ability to get all hell beat out of him and he shrugged gently as he smiled back at her “All part of the job description I guess…” he whispered quietly and yet knowing full well he spoke the truth.
Frowning as Layla tried to push him away and he settled back slightly in his seat as she slowly began to get herself comfortable “Sorry…” he mumbled apologetically “Just habit is all, I didn’t mean to make you feel…..however it was I made you feel…” he finished quietly.
Dean listened intently as Layla began to speak on the doctors at the hospital and as she pretty much explained she didn’t hold out much hope and as she finished her speech with a quiet voice he could not help bt avoid her gaze only briefly and stared at the very front of the chapel. His mind raced at a mile a minute as every demon, every mythological being and creature he had hunted and studied flashed into his consciousness and he struggled to pin point any sort of thing that could help Layla. Yet as he sat there he knew of only one demon, one thing that could help Layla in any way shape or form and that was the one thing that had caused him to be in the hospital in the first place.
Shaking the thoughts from his mind and regretfully resigning to the idea that as his brother once pointed out “You can’t save everybody”, Dean turned back to Layla and smiled weakly . “Or we can say….screw it to the doctors, drive our half beaten asses over to Vegas, score some big wins at the craps table and have some cheesy Elvis impersonator marry us…” he winked “We all gotta go down swinging…” he added with a small grin.
As Layla began to ask on Sam and the thoughts and memories of all that had happened over the past few hours slammed back through Dean, he glanced down at his feet and shook his head gently “He erm….he is in a bad way….He…I….” Dean struggled to continue with what he wanted to say so instead he just slammed his mouth closed and stared once more at the front of the chapel.
“Or we can say screw it to the doctors, drag our half beaten asses round here looking for a priest dude and do the deed right here and now. I don’t have the money or gas for Vegas….” He added with a small smile.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 11:05:04 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 22, 2008 11:05:04 GMT -4
Layla smiled softly over at Dean as he apologized for helping her.
“That isn’t it at all Dean I just don’t like to make myself a burden on to others…at least as much as I can help it anyways,” Layla said trying to explain her thoughts on the matter.
Her eyes clouded once more as Dean continued to explain yet not what had happened with Sam.
“He’ll be ok…he’ll pull through you’ll see,” Layla whispered reassuringly as she silently prayed for Sam in the spaces of her won mind. Her attention was caught off guard as Dean proposed to her in a way she was sure was Dean Winchester unique.
“You’re proposing to me Dean?” Layla asked with a soft smile as she looked back at him, he certainly did have a talent of making the world seem a little bit brighter with his uncanny way with words.
“And what sort of wife would I make you Dean Winchester?...One that is going to di…leave in a few months time; you deserve better then that,” she whispered softly placing her cold hand on the top of his uninjured one.
“You deserve to have your happiness last forever,” she said her eyes searching his. The truth was a part of her would have loved to be married and have a family in her life but her sickness had taken that from her and she had to make do with what she had.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 11:22:57 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 22, 2008 11:22:57 GMT -4
Dean stared at the front of the chapel as Layla ensured him that Sam would pull through, that all would be ok and he shook his head gently “Yeah….he will pull through and then because of me…I will lose him completely.” He whispered, refering to the deal Sam had made in his place.
A small awkward smile crossed Dean’s lips as Layla spoke on his rather unorthodox proposal and he glanced back at her with a shrug “I don’t deserve anything Layla…” he whispered gently, his eyes locking on to hers and shining with nothing but remorse “Be it you, God’s help, anyone, anything.”
“Truth is….” Dean sighed heavily and averted his gaze down to her hand as it lay over his “That whole happiness thing….bypassed me entirely Layla. Come a months time, there won’t be anything for me. Nothing. He will pull through, but only so I can say goodbye.” Dean glanced up at Layla only briefly before tearing his eyes away from her again.
“I can’t save anybody Layla….I used to think we were invincible. That nothing could touch us, that it was all black and white. Good and evil, and that was that. If I can’t save anybody anymore then I don’t want to save myself.” Dean knew he was piling way too much upon Layla, given her own current state and yet he stared back up at her and allowed his silent tears to fall “I will lose him and then I am nothing. There will be nothing. Layla….I’m dead in a month myself.” He whispered quietly
Dean sat in silence for close to a minute as the severity of what he had admitted sank in and he simply stared at her hand on his “So as long as you can cook meals the size of Texas, I will be a happy guy.” He added in a half hearted attempt at humor.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 12:02:18 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 22, 2008 12:02:18 GMT -4
Layla looked at Dean confused as he continued to mention that Sam would pull through but it would only be for a month. That part she didn’t understand but then it truthfully was she did not entirely know. Tears glistened behind her own tired eyes as she heard Dean suffer through his words to her. She hated to see him suffer this much with something she didn’t rightly understand but wanted to help with none the less.
“Everything happens for a reason Dean,” she whispered placing one of her hands against his warm cheek and maneuvering his face to look at her hoping she could give him some peace.
“In the end everything works out just as it is meant to work out…you’ll see it will,” she whispered a stray tear snaking its way from her eye and tumbling down her check.
“Sam will be ok trust in that and trust in him…he won’t leave you. I could tell how strong you two were from the moment I saw you outside of the tent that morning…I just knew the both of you were something special…destined for great things…for good things,” Layla whispered not a single word coming from her was a lie either.
Dean Winchester had not been someone she had been able to forget he had stayed rooted in her mind even after he had been gone for several months.
His question to her his proposal hung in the air all but surrounding her. The offer the question and dare she even say the sincerity behind it all tempted her like nothing she had felt in years. It was something she had wanted for so long and thought she never could have it. But then again God worked in very mysterious ways.
“I have been known to cook from time to time,” she whispered not bale to help but feel selfish for her words.
“And I would Dean I would love to…but you have to know I can’t give you forever I can only give you the time the Lord allows…and then I want you to be happy again,” she whispered taking her hand away from the side of his face and looking back at him tears cascading down her pale cheeks.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 12:49:10 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 22, 2008 12:49:10 GMT -4
Dean shook his head gently and stared back at Layla, the sadness ever evident in his eyes “I am the reason all this happened…” he whispered gently “And if this is the way it was meant to turn out then I wish I had stayed de….” Dean bought his sentence to a close abruptly and stared back at Layla.
“Sam won’t be ok Layla, I can’t help him….I don’t have enough time to help him and we aren’t meant for for great things. I’m not destined for anything but….” Dean stared back at Layla and allowed his silent tears to keep on falling “It’s Sam, he is the one with the destiny and I tried to give him it but now….because of me, it has been snatched away.”
Dean’s eyes fell back down to Layla’s hand as it lay upon his and as she raised it up and moved his face so as for him to look back at her, he allowed a small forlorn smile to cross his lips “I just want….I just want normal…happy…I just need….” Dean stopped speaking and his face screwed up slightly in pain. Pain from his body and the emotional rollercoaster that was twisting and turning its way through him.
“Even if it isn’t forever.” He whispered and without second thought, nor time to gather any more strength than needed. Dean leaned forwards and placed his lips gently, carefully against Layla’s and allowed himself to simply get lost within the kiss he placed upon her. His good hand reached up slowly and he laid it softly against her cheek as he pulled her weary body closer to his own and simply allowed his mind to drift away. The kiss, though gentle, seemingly grew with intensity as Dean allowed every emotion bar a small semblance of happiness to wash away from him and he allowed a small, almost undetectable groan to slip from his lips and through into the kiss.
Pulling away only slightly from the kiss and resting his forehead against hers, Dean let his hand rest gently upon her cheek and he smiled gently at her “Sorry….” He whispered gently, now just realizing he may very well have overstepped his boundaries but his eyes remained locked with hers.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 15:16:36 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 22, 2008 15:16:36 GMT -4
Layla struggled to breath calmly as she heard Dean’s desperate words she so badly wanted to help him and even to understand what it was that had happened to Sam that it couldn’t pass she figured some how the younger brother must have gotten sick…very sick in order for Dean to all but give up hope for his little brother.
“Miracles can happen Dean,” she whispered hoping tog vie her some of her hope and some of her faith.
Layla’s eyes widened slightly in shock as in a matter of seconds she felt Dean’s warm lips gently push their way against hers. The simple touch of him made her entire body static with sensations and feelings she had never before felt. She gently kissed him back her eyes slipping closed as she gently ran her fingers up his back and brushed her nails gently against the nap of his neck as he pulled away.
She stared back at him she could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she looked back at him.
“You don’t have to apologize,” she whispered with a soft smile brushing her hand gently across his forehead as she stared back at him. She knew this was insane every bit of her being was telling her it was insane but for once if only for once she wanted to do something because she could.
“Though a chapel is not the proper place for that sort of thing,” she said with a faint laugh as she pulled her hand away from his face and tightened her pony tail slightly tucking the stray pieces of hair behind her ears.
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Faith
May 22, 2008 15:40:14 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 22, 2008 15:40:14 GMT -4
As Layla stuck by her belief that miracles can happen and though Dean knew deep down that if she knew the truth, her words of faith would even be lost to her he smiled gently at her and offered a small shrug in defeat. “Dean Winchester can’t win out againt the word of God then….” He whispered with a small laugh.
Dean knew it was probably well out of step and highly unorthodox to have leaned in quite so soon and placed a kiss upon Layla’s lips but for some strange reason, deep down, he knew it and felt it to be right. As the feeling of her returning the kiss just as much as he had and felt her hand travel its way up his back and across his neck he could not help but put more hunger behind his.
As they each pulled away from the kiss and Dean felt Layla’s soft hand brush its way across his forehead, Dean’s eyes slipped closed and he simply relished in the connection between the pair of them. The flush that had risen its way through her cheeks shone back at Dean and he allowed his own hand to brush down her face gently “Well, well, well Layla….it seems someone has a bit of color back in their cheeks.” He said with a small laugh and placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead before watching intently as she went about straightening her hair.
“Maybe it isn’t a place for it, but you know me too well Layla, I never follow the rules.” A small frown crossed Dean’s brow as Layla finished tying her hair back and as she brushed the few stray strands away from her face he leaned forwards and took a gentle hold of the band holding her hair away from her face.
Removing it gently and slowly, Dean alowed her hair to fall over her shoulders and he smiled back at her as he eased it slightly away from her face and simply stared at her. A small smile made its home upon his face as he gazed back at her and he slowly leaned forwards to place his lips against hers once more but stopped abruptly as the phone that lay in his pocket chimed and he pulled away as if struck by lightning. “I didn’t even hear it ring….” He hissed quietly, raising the phone to his ear and listening to the message left by his father.
Dean’s face showed the whole range of emotions he crashed as the few short words slammed into his mind and his face contorted into a look of sheer agony. Rubbing a hand over his face and snapping his phone closed, Dean stared aghast at his cell before snapping his eyes back to Layla “It’s Sam….he….they say he is in a coma. I gotta go to him….I have to…” Dean stood up so fast, so urgently his blood rushed to his head and he fell back into the seat with a crash, a cry of pain tearing its way from him as his head raged with a new onslaught of pain and he simply buried his head in his hands.
“What have I done Layla?” he whispered desperately “I should be the one gone….” He added, agony tearing through with his voice and he stared back at her “I don’t know what to do Layla….I don’t have any answers anymore….please….” he breathed his eyes tearing back into hers “Help me….” He begged desperately, his eyes streaming with the new found tears that ached away inside of him.
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Faith
May 27, 2008 8:31:10 GMT -4
Post by layla on May 27, 2008 8:31:10 GMT -4
“No he can’t” Layla replied happily with a soft smile as Dean in his own way agreed that even he couldn’t go up against the word of God. Layla laughed softly her cheeks getting redder by the second as Dean all to willingly pointed out that she was blushing to no end.
Layla’s eyes fluttered closed as Dean pressed his lips gently against hers once more yet the sound of his phone caused her to jump slightly in surprise.
Layla’s eyes widened in concern as she watched the range of emotions tear across Dean’s face second by second as he listened to whoever had left him a message on his cell phone. She gently placed her hand upon his knee hoping to be able to grant him some calm with whatever news he was receiving in regards to his little brother.
She sucked in a shaky breath as Dean informed her that Sam had slipped into a come, the agony he was feeling was all to apparent and she hated to see him suffer so much without being able to do anything to help.
“No Dean you didn’t do anything. This isn’t your fault…please don’t do this, Sam needs you strong he needs you strong for him now more then ever before,” she whispered her hand still gently rubbing his knee hoping her words could in some way help.
Her own tears glistened behind her eyes as she took note of the ones the fell from Dean.
“Go to him Dean, go to him and sit with him and be with him he’ll know you are there and you can help him wake up, you can help hi get well again and I’ll stay here and I can pray enough for all three of us,” Layla said offering the only thing she believed in that could help.
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Faith
May 27, 2008 8:51:17 GMT -4
Post by Dean Winchester on May 27, 2008 8:51:17 GMT -4
Dean shook his head frantically as Layla proclaimed he had done no wrong and he stared back at her fearfully “No see….I should have stayed gone. Or I should have been stronger….kept that thing out…” he whispered, his eyes tearing into Layla’s with nothing but shame coursing through him.
“I always thought I was…stronger than I am…was….” he whispered, his voice laced with self hatred if nothing else “But I….I just let it in and I did nothing! I watched and I could do nothing as Sam was…as I…..” Dean’s hand flew out and grabbed a hold of Layla’s as he stared back at her “I’m not strong….never have…I need…”
Dean glanced at the door to the chapel as Layla suggested he go and be with Sam, and as she informed him she would stay behind he snapped his head back and shook it desperately at her “No….I need you to….I can’t see him like that…on my own…I can’t…” he whispered, knowing full well he was showing the weakness inside of him that he desperately craved to hide, and yet he did not care right now.
“What if he….I can’t….” he whispered “Please…” he begged, his eyes imploring with hers.
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