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Post by Lilith on May 5, 2010 4:45:17 GMT -4
"Really? Well then how should I be Lilith?"
Well... that was a good question and Lilith didn't really know what to say. She didn't really expect him to be overjoyed that she was planning on bringing Lucifer back... but she didn't want him to be angry either.
"Just all fine and dandy that you're trying to raise my fallen brother? Who not only fell, But fell for all the wrong reasons. And not only that; seduced my wife and got her dragged into hell where I couldn't see her for how many millenia?"
Lilith pressed her lips tightly together and her brows furrowed together. When he put it like that... it did seem a little... cruel of her. But she was a demon... a demon made of cruelty, what did he really expect?
"Where I couldn't protect her."
She wanted to protest at that. Tell him that as the first demon, there was nothing she needed to be protected from in Hell. And she opened her mouth to do just that. But she knew that it would be a lie... and she knew that he knew it too. So she closed her mouth and dropped her gaze, hoping he hadn't noticed.
"Yeah Lilith.... I'm totally fine with that. I'm not going to be angry at all,"
"Sam... I don't expect you to be fine with it," she told him, stepping caustiously towards him again. "I just don't want you to be angry with me." She came to a stop on the opposite side of the desk and leant against it, ducking her head to try and catch his gaze. "Please don't be angry with me."
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Post by Samael on May 6, 2010 3:20:49 GMT -4
"Sam... I don't expect you to be fine with it," she told him.
Samael snapped his attention back at her as she took a step towards him. He took a small step back as he ducked his head to avoid her gaze.
"I just don't want you to be angry with me," he heard her say, her voice getting closer.
She didn't want him to be angry with her? What did she think he was, a saint? he may have been in the past. He had been patient; more patient probably than most. She was really pushing it now however.
"Please don't be angry with me."
"Seriously?" he questioned, looking at her. He nearly let out a small laugh. "Don't be angry with you?"
"Lilith, there is so much I should have been angry with you for in the past. Stealing my brothers' and sisters' graces and killing them. From what I've heard you've been stealing children as well. I've even heard you eat them. For a woman that wanted children I have to say I really am surprised. I expected so much more from you."
"I know they're just rumors but quite frankly I don't know what to believe about you now. You don't ever tell me anything. I can understand some thing but really there are some key things you should tell me about."
"Like sleeping with your clients," he nearly growled at her. He kept most of his speech closer to his normal tone but this really bothered him. Even if it didn't mean anything to her it hurt him.
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Post by Lilith on May 6, 2010 3:52:32 GMT -4
"Seriously? Don't be angry with you?"
"That's what I said." Though it seemed things would not be playing out that way. But honestly, how hard was it? Look the other way and don't get mad, was it really so much to ask?
"Lilith, there is so much I should have been angry with you for in the past."
Her own anger grew as he began to point out things she had done - or supposedly done - that were deserved of his anger. Those were not the issues they were discussing at the moment, they weren't relevant. And it wasn't fair.
"Those graces were necessary," she growled, straightening up from the desk and turning her back on him. "I didn't have a choice."
"And how can you think that of me?" She spun around to face him, hurt in her eyes. "How can you honestly think any of those rumours are true? You know me better than that! I started those rumours. I have a reputation to uphold. Do you know what would happen to me... to the children...if demons knew what I was really doing with them?"
"..I can understand some thing but really there are some key things you should tell me about...Like sleeping with your clients,"
Of all the things he had accused her of, the tone in his voice suggested that this upset him the most. "Are you kidding me?" she asked. "I don't make the rules, Samael, I'm just bound by them. What happens during business transactions means nothing to me. You know that."
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Post by Samael on Jun 14, 2010 13:33:20 GMT -4
"Those graces were necessary," she growled, straightening up from the desk and turning her back on him. "I didn't have a choice."
"There's always a choice Lilith. Some of them were old friends. I do take some offense to it."
"And how can you think that of me?" She spun around to face him, hurt in her eyes. It was such an uncommon occurrence that his first reaction was to walk over to her and try and take the look off her face; He had put it there however so he stayed put.
"How can you honestly think any of those rumours are true? You know me better than that! I started those rumours. I have a reputation to uphold. Do you know what would happen to me... to the children...if demons knew what I was really doing with them?"
"Then why take them in the first place. I'm sure their families really appreciate you taking care of them," he said, sarcasm coating his voice. Never in his long life had Samael been so angry with his wife. Either he'd finally had enough or everything had just kept building till now and he couldn't breathe anymore without bringing some of it to the surface. He felt like he was slowly chocking.
"Are you kidding me?" she asked. "I don't make the rules, Samael, I'm just bound by them. What happens during business transactions means nothing to me. You know that."
"So how is it that Azazeal got stuck with a little kiss between him and Mary Winchester yet when you meet her son, Sam" he nearly spit out, "you have to fuck his brains out."
Yeah. It was a bit of a touchy subject wasn't it?
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Post by Lilith on Jun 14, 2010 15:42:48 GMT -4
"There's always a choice Lilith. Some of them were old friends. I do take some offense to it."
"There's never a choice..." she said quietly. For some maybe... even for the free-will-lacking angels... but not for her. There had never been a choice for her. She hadn't chosen Adam... she hadn't chosen to be twisted into what she was now... and she couldn't choose to say no.
"Then why take them in the first place. I'm sure their families really appreciate you taking care of them,"
Hearing his sarcasm, Lilith let out a harsh laugh. "Their families? Ha! Their families don't care what happened to their children. Did you ever check for a pattern with the children I've taken? Or check back in on their so called families years later? I take children out of dangerous, abusive, unfit homes, and I give them a safe place to go. Their families don't mourn, they think it's a miracle their nuisance baby suddenly disappeared. Why take them? Because I can take better care of them than their parents can..."
She eyed her husband slowly... he was angry, actually angry and while she didn't think this had ever happened before, she was too angry herself to be surprised. Well no... not angry... more hurt... the fact that he, the one being who knew her better than anyone else, could really believe the rumours about what she did with those children... even though he knew what children meant to her... she folded her arms across her chest and dropped her gaze to the floor. Had she really become so awful?
"So how is it that Azazeal got stuck with a little kiss between him and Mary Winchester yet when you meet her son, Sam, you have to fuck his brains out."
"I don't know!" she nearly screamed at him. "I really don't. I didn't ask to have to fuck everything I make a deal with... I didn't ask for any of this... but it's what I am and it's what I have to do... the only person who can do a damn thing about it is Lucifer and I don't see him changing is mind in the forseeable... ever."
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Post by Samael on Aug 24, 2010 1:27:59 GMT -4
"Their families? Ha! Their families don't care what happened to their children. Did you ever check for a pattern with the children I've taken?... I take children out of dangerous, abusive, unfit homes, and I give them a safe place to go. Their families don't mourn, they think it's a miracle their nuisance baby suddenly disappeared. Why take them? Because I can take better care of them than their parents can..."
Turning around Samael looked at Lilith.
“How do you know that Lilith? Hmm?” he asked, taking a step towards her. “How do you know they're from families like that? How do you know what will happen after the baby is born. Humans can change. They can be good. They can be bad. But they can change. Who are you, to decide someone is unfit to have a child?”
He threw his hands up. “You're not God, Lilith.”
So she didn't have a choice over what she had to do to broker deals for his brother yet she could decide to steal a child and give it a 'better life' than what it would have had? Samael ran his hands through his hair as he looked at her exasperated.
“I didn't ask to have to fuck everything I make a deal with... I didn't ask for any of this... but it's what I am and it's what I have to do... the only person who can do a damn thing about it is Lucifer and I don't see him changing his mind in the foreseeable... ever."
“Yeah well you didn't ask for a different option did you?”
He ran a hand over his face before dropping his arms to his side.
“You just do whatever he tells you. Lilith come here. Lilith let me turn you into a demon. Lilith let me keep you in hell for a few millenniums. Lilith go do my bidding. For someone that hated being told what to do you certainly don't stick up for yourself, do you?”
“Well you know what Lils,” he said, his young vessel's voice breaking slightly as he said his wife's name. Damn emotional reactions. There were some things he could deal without at times in his vessel. While the boy was quiet and normally calm like himself, the young man wasn't used to getting upset and tended to get very overwhelmed when it did happen.
“You know what? I would have stuck up for you,” he said, a hand flying to his chest, thumping it as he motioned to himself.
“You always told me that you didn't need me to but you know what? Maybe I should have.”
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Post by Lilith on Aug 26, 2010 23:03:37 GMT -4
“How do you know that Lilith? Hmm? How do you know they're from families like that? How do you know what will happen after the baby is born. Humans can change. They can be good. They can be bad. But they can change. Who are you, to decide someone is unfit to have a child?”
Lilith snorted, for a moment unable to say anything. On some level she knew he was probably right. But she was too stubborn and too angry to admit it.
“You're not God, Lilith.”
"No, I'm not God," Lilith agreed. "I'm a demon. A very powerful one. Which means I can decide whatever I like with very almost no consequences... unless someone equally or more powerful, such as yourself dear decides to stop me. Is that what you're going to do?"
She knew she sounded horribly petty, but for some reason she just couldn't help herself. There was that sick sort of satisfaction she got from hurting people, but this was Samael, and underneath any satisfaction she may have felt, it just felt wrong.
“Yeah well you didn't ask for a different option did you?”
"Didn't ask for a different - " she cut herself off with a harsh laugh. "No, you're right, I didn't ask. I begged. For thousands of years, I begged him to let me go, to let me go back to being who I was. Or at least to give me the freedom he had promised me. And the more I begged, the more it just got worse. He hurt me, twisted me, changed me more and more until I just accepted it. I. Have. No. Choice."
When she was human, Lilith had been beautiful, independent and strong. Now... now she just appeared to be those things. But really she was hideous and weak... not that she would ever admit it.
"For someone that hated being told what to do you certainly don't stick up for yourself, do you?”
Lilith said nothing, merely suppressed a wince. It was true, she didn't and she hated it. But again, there was nothing she could do. Even to her, subservience was better than the alternative.
“You know what? I would have stuck up for you, You always told me that you didn't need me to but you know what? Maybe I should have.”
"And I wish you had," Lilith said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But you didn't. And you can't. We can't go back and change what happened, and there's fuck all we can do about it now. So why the hell are we even arguing about it? What do we accomplish by yelling at each other about things outside of our control?"
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Post by Samael on Sept 6, 2010 23:54:18 GMT -4
"No, I'm not God," Lilith agreed. "I'm a demon. A very powerful one. Which means I can decide whatever I like with very almost no consequences... unless someone equally or more powerful, such as yourself dear decides to stop me. Is that what you're going to do?"
Samael sent her a glare. That was a low blow. She knew he didn't do things like that. He had always been more than fair when it came to letting her have her way.
"And I wish you had," Lilith said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But you didn't. And you can't. We can't go back and change what happened, and there's fuck all we can do about it now. So why the hell are we even arguing about it? What do we accomplish by yelling at each other about things outside of our control?"
Silence fell over the room.
“Are you just going to give up so easily Lilith?” Samael said after a moment.
Walking around the table, Samael came closer. Lifting his hands he held her wrists as he ducked down to try and look into her face. Don't get him wrong, he was mad. The anger just seemed to be more directed at Hell than at his crazed wife.
“What happened to the person who always fought to get her way? Why won't you fight this with me?” he said softly.
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Post by Lilith on Oct 7, 2010 19:38:20 GMT -4
“Are you just going to give up so easily Lilith?”
'Yes' is what she wanted to say, out of stubbornness more than anything else. But Lilith had noticed the change in tone in her husbands voice and decided that perhaps it would be better not to reantagonise him.
She simply watched him as he made his way towards her, but the moment he touched her, something in her changed. The nearer she was to her husband, the less crazy she got, but with actual physical contact, she was almost the same woman she had been when they had first met.
“What happened to the person who always fought to get her way? Why won't you fight this with me?”
There was a small part of her that wanted to remind Samael that that woman was dead. But instead, she lifted her gaze to his, her brow furrowed as if she were afraid.
"I don't know how."
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Post by Samael on Nov 4, 2010 9:08:15 GMT -4
Samael sighed. His thumbs ran over the back of her hands lightly as he looked at her. Their lives would never be like they had been before Lucifer had entered her life. They'd never have a simple human moment or date. Then again they never really did have a chance before had they? The former angel of death and the first woman. What an odd couple they made.
"Lilith. You know," he said, looking at her, "that things are just going to get worse, for everyone, if you help him rise. There will be no chance of escaping it. Ever. He'll take you away again. Or will he even keep you around once he gets what he's always wanted?"
"Please don't do this."
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Post by Lilith on Nov 6, 2010 1:12:02 GMT -4
"Lilith. You know, that things are just going to get worse, for everyone, if you help him rise. There will be no chance of escaping it. Ever. He'll take you away again. Or will he even keep you around once he gets what he's always wanted?"
A pained expression crept across Lilith's face as she looked at her husband. She knew that he was right. She knew that the rational thing to do would be to let Lucifer rot in his prison for the rest of eternity. At least that way she could almost return to the way things were.
But this compulsion she had to follow his orders wasn't rational. It was almost built in to her that she had to do what he wanted. She needed to. And while right now she wished with every fibre of her being that she could ignore it and return to life with Samael, it just wasn't physically possible.
"Please don't do this."
Slowly, she removed her hands from his and looked at him, a single tear falling down her cheek.
"I have to," she whispered.
And then she was gone.
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